Pause

My friends and family are going through a lot right now. Life is precious and sometimes I am reminded of that when there is a little bump in my daily routine, like when one of my boys gets the flu or the dog gets an ear infection that won't go away.
But lately there have been big life changing events for loved ones. At times it's frightening but when I pause and re-center myself, I am reminded that the universe has bigger plans.

Even a tiny insect causes me to pause now and wonder as to it's purpose in this world.  Everything works together in tiny microsystems and at times I forget how important these beings are. Right now I am pumping Morphine into my friend while she sleeps. She just had emergency surgery last night but she will be fine. This I feel deep in my soul. My cousin however had to make a heart retching decision yesterday that I just don't know how or where to hold. She had to make the decision to take her husband off of life support system after only 48 hours of finding out he was sick.  No time to deal.... or talk..... or dream..... or think before you lose your life's best friend.  I'm am so sad for her incredible loss. 

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."-Denis Waitley

Family Ties

Great Grandma Mary, all twelve cousins and Grandma Sophie at Lake Tahoe

There is

nothing

like

a big

Italian Family!

We celebrate together

and

share difficult times

together.

We vacationed together

at Lake Tahoe

and

sat in our parent's backyards

together.

Laughing, crying,

talking, sharing,

and sometimes

getting into trouble

together.

Twelve cousins,

from four

sisters.

Three each.

Our Grandpa Arturo

was the

head of this big family

but it was

Grandma Sophie

who brought us all 

together

through her

cooking, (always cooking!)

stories, smiles, hugs

and

love.....

Times were tough

and

money was tight

but boy did we

enjoy the

simple

pleasures

in life

TOGETHER !

The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.

~ Henry Ward Beecher







Landing on my Heart.....

Our Son 

And he truly is a gift...

My son, Tyler is 21 today.  I remember the day he was born.  His two brothers were sent off to his Aunt & Uncle's home for the night.   He was born in the early hours of the morning and I could not wait to announce his arrival. You have a sweet new brother, son, grandson, nephew, ...I remember the nurse weighing him and measuring him, then giving me the tape measure with his length noted on it. Today we have a mark in his bedroom closet that announced his desire to be 6'2 and a baseball fireball.  He achieved that!  The doctor that delivered him was not my regular ob-gyn, but a young new doctor that looked like he just parked his surfboard outside and had come in to deliver a baby or two.  I had had a brain aneurysm four years previous to Tyler's birth so I was a little anxious about the strain. But he was perfect ..... and beautiful...  
Tyler was the easiest going of the three.  I guess he had to be since his two older brother's schedules dictated what Tyler and I wanted to do...but we went to baseball, soccer, field trips and such while Tyler slept and he was happy to just be with his brothers....

Always a smile on Tyler's face and always a "will you marry me mom" along with a bouquet of flowers that he had picked from bus stop in grade school down the lane.  

Tyler - I am so proud of you and I love you ....always.... happy birthday....mom...

  from  Beth at "be yourself....everyone else is taken"
http://www.moredoors.blogspot.com/

....and

 he is

truly a gift.

but don't get me wrong. he has not been an easy child to raise these past few years.

 not even close......

when our son was little

 he was very agreeable to our way of parenting and his love for life taught us how to live.

but

by the time he reached high school.  well honestly there were days i wanted to lock him out of the house and wish him luck.

four years

of broken hearts. tears. frustration. yelling. silence. head shaking. door slamming. grounding.

finger pointing. sleepless nights. blurry mornings.

and

now we are here

with a son who is finally on a new path.  finding his way. making us laugh again. talking for hours with us. working full time. winning back the love of a sister who didn't like him for a long time.

and

oh was he ever sick this weekend

when your nineteen year old son needs you to be with him in urgent care

two days in a row

you know he really doesn't feel good.

and

as i sat waiting with him.  taking this photo on my phone that he didn't see.

in my mind

he was 3 years old again suffering from another asthma attack.

he was 5 having an allergic reaction to peanuts.

he was 8 and having his head stitched up after cracking it open on the side of the pool.

he was 12having his finger tips

super glued back together after a firework exploded in his hand.

after a multitude of tests. we  still don't know what is wrong.

and

 today he's better.

he's actually better in so many ways.

and

his love for life

which he never lost.

even when life was ugly

is still tangible

i can't tell you how nice it is to have  our son back again.