Stay

Stay is a powerful word.

                                    

Stay with me

Stay the course

Stay in the moment

Stay for awhile

Stay with those feelings

Please stay.....

When the feelings of "fight or flight" come up, I'm generally the first one out-the-door.  But more and more I am learning to stay. Simply stay. 

It's far too easy to go off to the movies, downtown shopping, veg out on the computer or TV, or take a two week trip to Belize (did I just say that?) to avoid an uncomfortable situation or uneasy feelings. I now recognize when I start packing my suitcase for a quick unplanned road trip, I'm usually running from something.

First it's being aware that I'm "heading out of Dodge" in one form or another.

I allow myself the option of still taking off but first I try to figure out what I'm trying to avoid. Just like mom always said "Stop.....Look....and....Listen".

If I have the ability at that particular moment to stay with those feelings for at least a little while then I feel that I can grow as a person.  Usually just being aware & thinking about the "pink elephant" in the room is enough to calm the angst in me.

                                

We all need to take a breather or just get some distance from a situation for a different perspective but doing the inner work takes courage and is great for the soul.

"Seeing Ourselves Clearly - When we begin to see clearly what we do, how we get hooked and swept away by old habits, our usual tendency is to use that as a reason to get discouraged, a reason to feel really bad about ourselves.  Instead, we could realize how remarkable it is that we actually have the capacity to see ourselves honestly, and that doing this takes courage.  It is moving in the direction of seeing our life as a teacher rather than as a burden.  This involves, fundamentally, learning to stay present, but learning to stay with a sense of humor, learning to stay with loving-kindness toward ourselves and with the outer situation, learning to take joy in the magic ingredient of honest self-reflection.

                                                            -quote from Pema Chodron "Taking the Leap"

I love those words...especially........stay with loving kindness and a sense of humor!  Oh yeah AND learning to see our lives as a teacher rather than a burden! 

                                                            

“It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.”  
 - Albert Einstein

Letting Go

Our Baird Family vacation home in Lake Tahoe went up for sale last week and .....it has sold.

Spring Creek Tract is at the base of Mt. Tallac

We have so many wonderful memories spending delicious time there. Some summers we would rent it for an entire month at a time but usually we were there for 2-3 weeks. There was time spent with our boys, their friends, our friends and family.  There was also time alone with Mr. B.  Occasionally he would travel back and forth to the Bay Area to work then come on up for long weekends to be with me and the boys.


Breakfast was served on the back deck in the sunshine with Spring Creek flowing just  past the cabin. The boys would shoot a BB gun at tin cans placed across the creek into a hillside.  We would lay in the hammock near the creek and read or sleep. Mr. B and the three little b's would tie fishing flies then head to a nearby river to fly fish for the afternoon.  There was beach time and hiking paths and simple moments. We would play Canasta endlessly, drink Margaritas and cook into the wee hours of the morning with our good friends. Ahhh....I can just feel the relaxing of our entire family there.



It was a good cabin...it had a "soul".












So why didn't we buy it? Well, it's painful and complicated.....

*I know I am kind of venting right now but this is so heartfelt.  I totally understand if you want to go to a funny blog....check this one out and I promise to have a "better attitude" next
post.....http://www.thebloggess.com/

Great Grandma Mary, the twelve cousins & Grandma Sophie - c.1960 (I am at the top of the rock, 3rd from L)

The cabin is on Forest Service land, which means it's reasonably priced but you don't really own it. The Forest Service dictates what you can and can not do there. Mostly what you cannot do! They lease the land out to you but change the rules at any time. If they decide they need that portion of the forest, you need to remove your cabin and bring the land back to a natural state (pronto!).

Grandma Sophie cooking

My grandparents built a cabin there in the Fifties with a 99 year lease, my Aunt now owns that cabin and the Forest Service decided to "drop" the lease to 20 years at a time. (which basically means they can change the rules of the game at any moment). Several years ago they decided to close the Tract during the winter months, so now you are limited to a few months of use and well, all of this was discouraging.  Mr. B decided years ago that although he has fallen in love with the area, dealing with the Forest Service was just too much!  I have to agree....only when I take my heart out of the equation. 

Cousin Billy and my brother David at Baldwin Beach with Mt. Tallac in the background

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray" -  Rumi