No Hurry

"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day." --Winnie the Pooh

Aunt Marie

Today in my daily journal, I filled two pages with gratitude!  Gratitude that I had an Aunt in my life who brought us all so much joy.....

My mom Betty and Aunt Marie

My Aunt Marie, who's cabin I was staying at in Tahoe, passed away while I was on vacation.  Her family had a service for her on Sunday. Yes, she had a full life, and yes she was getting "on" in years, and yes she had been fighting cancer for the last year BUT she was so very young at heart.

She always had a smile on her face and always had a kind word of encouragement....It is such a loss for our entire family.

Aunt Marie lived life in the present and never had to read a book about how to do it.

The cabin being build

The cabin in 2011

Every summer both of our families, grandparents and sometimes more would come to my Grandparents little cabin in Tahoe. The dad's were expected to work on building the cabin most of the day and the mom's would cook, clean and take care of the kids. Most days we would entertain ourselves and fish across the street in Spring Creek, hike to the meadow or Indian Grinding Rock or visit a little local radio station and bug the announcer for free records.  Usually it was just rocks and sticks to play with, no TV, no electronics, no phone but lots of comic books to read!

Uncle Cliff & my brother Dave stuck in the "swamp"

Most days my mom and Aunt would pack a lunch and take us to Baldwin beach to swim, build in the sand, float on huge inner tubes, follow our older cousins to the swamp and watch the mail plane land in the lake every day right at noon.

(I spent hours at Baldwin Beach trying to capture lightening...can you see it?)

Some days a storm would gather overhead and the moms would herd us under a tree on the beach until it stopped raining (brilliant idea in a lightening storm!). I assume they had strict orders not to return with the kids to the cabin until late afternoon!

Aunt Marie was a 4th/5th grade school teacher.  It was in her heart.





So when we were in Tahoe, she usually had an activity planned for us.  We either constructed & decorated a tepee or did some hiking off the beaten path and usually got lost for awhile.  Some days we would rent horses for the day and bring them back to the cabin but all they seemed to be interested in was heading back to the stables.  The boys would chop wood and the girls helped with collecting pine cones and washing the dinner dishes.

Cousins - Georgeanne, Kari, Chris, Marietta, Patty & Cathy

But what ever we did, we had fun!  She made sure of that!!

Great Grandma Mary and Grandma Sophie with all 12 grandchildren

.....and Aunt Marie, you were a lovely inspiration to us all and you will be missed...

 Uncle Cliff, Chris, Aunt Marie, Patty, Me (check out those glasses!), Kari and my brother Dave

Every time I see an Aspen quake, I will think of you!

Alone with myself
The trees bend to caress me
The shade hugs my heart.
~Candy Polgar

Laundry in the Woods

Last week, while I was still in Tahoe, I had some laundry that needed washing. Now normally I would of jumped in my car & gone to the closest laundry mat but on this day I was painting at the cabin and wanted to stay put. So I remembered how my mom & aunts would pull out the old wringer washing machine once a week & hang the clothes on a line in a sunny spot in the forest to dry. They talked & laughed while doing this chore together while us 12 cousins would run through the hanging clothes and chase each other. On this day last week, nostalgia hit and I decided to do the same. Although the old wringer machine is long gone, I had a Zen like moment washing my clothes in the deep kitchen sink, then hanging them on the line to dry.


     
“After enlightenment, the laundry.”
 Zen Proverb

Tahoe Wildflowers

The wildflowers are still in bloom in the Tahoe Basin. It is amazing that September has arrived and the wildflowers are just finishing their summer show.

The weather is still warm during the day but there is a crispness in the air in the early morning & evening.

"To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring - these are some of the rewards of the simple life. "
— John Burroughs

   "Look closely. The beautiful may be small."    Emmanuel Kant

Andy & Ashley & Tahoe

 

We are finally on vacation in Tahoe. I drove up with our two dogs on Friday morning, August 19 and my oldest son Andy & his girlfriend Ashley came up just a little ahead of me. They came over to my house in the morning & helped pack the cars. They insisted on doing the big grocery shopping once we arrived in Tahoe as I had the dogs in my car. They joyfully cooked Mr. B and me a wonderful breakfast the next morning.  We went to the beach, played cards, sat on the deck at the cabin visiting, cooked meals together, enjoyed looking through junk at the flea market, hiked to Angora lake, went to lunch at Fallen Leaf Lake and I taught Ashley how to throw a frisbee straight and play Canasta.
 
On the other hand Ashley taught me how to let go of my grown son just a little bit more because she showed me that he was in kind, loving hands. I cried when they had to head back to the Bay Area.
 
I also learned to see Andy in a whole new light.  Amazing to watch your children grow up.
 
Thank you both for the joy you brought with you to Tahoe!

Dreams

"Life is full of beauty. 

Notice it. 

Notice the bumblebee,

the small child,

and the smiling faces. 

Smell the rain, 

and feel the wind. 

Live your life to the fullest potential, 

and fight for your dreams." 

-Ashley Smith

Stay

Stay is a powerful word.

                                    

Stay with me

Stay the course

Stay in the moment

Stay for awhile

Stay with those feelings

Please stay.....

When the feelings of "fight or flight" come up, I'm generally the first one out-the-door.  But more and more I am learning to stay. Simply stay. 

It's far too easy to go off to the movies, downtown shopping, veg out on the computer or TV, or take a two week trip to Belize (did I just say that?) to avoid an uncomfortable situation or uneasy feelings. I now recognize when I start packing my suitcase for a quick unplanned road trip, I'm usually running from something.

First it's being aware that I'm "heading out of Dodge" in one form or another.

I allow myself the option of still taking off but first I try to figure out what I'm trying to avoid. Just like mom always said "Stop.....Look....and....Listen".

If I have the ability at that particular moment to stay with those feelings for at least a little while then I feel that I can grow as a person.  Usually just being aware & thinking about the "pink elephant" in the room is enough to calm the angst in me.

                                

We all need to take a breather or just get some distance from a situation for a different perspective but doing the inner work takes courage and is great for the soul.

"Seeing Ourselves Clearly - When we begin to see clearly what we do, how we get hooked and swept away by old habits, our usual tendency is to use that as a reason to get discouraged, a reason to feel really bad about ourselves.  Instead, we could realize how remarkable it is that we actually have the capacity to see ourselves honestly, and that doing this takes courage.  It is moving in the direction of seeing our life as a teacher rather than as a burden.  This involves, fundamentally, learning to stay present, but learning to stay with a sense of humor, learning to stay with loving-kindness toward ourselves and with the outer situation, learning to take joy in the magic ingredient of honest self-reflection.

                                                            -quote from Pema Chodron "Taking the Leap"

I love those words...especially........stay with loving kindness and a sense of humor!  Oh yeah AND learning to see our lives as a teacher rather than a burden! 

                                                            

“It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.”  
 - Albert Einstein

Letting Go

Our Baird Family vacation home in Lake Tahoe went up for sale last week and .....it has sold.

Spring Creek Tract is at the base of Mt. Tallac

We have so many wonderful memories spending delicious time there. Some summers we would rent it for an entire month at a time but usually we were there for 2-3 weeks. There was time spent with our boys, their friends, our friends and family.  There was also time alone with Mr. B.  Occasionally he would travel back and forth to the Bay Area to work then come on up for long weekends to be with me and the boys.


Breakfast was served on the back deck in the sunshine with Spring Creek flowing just  past the cabin. The boys would shoot a BB gun at tin cans placed across the creek into a hillside.  We would lay in the hammock near the creek and read or sleep. Mr. B and the three little b's would tie fishing flies then head to a nearby river to fly fish for the afternoon.  There was beach time and hiking paths and simple moments. We would play Canasta endlessly, drink Margaritas and cook into the wee hours of the morning with our good friends. Ahhh....I can just feel the relaxing of our entire family there.



It was a good cabin...it had a "soul".












So why didn't we buy it? Well, it's painful and complicated.....

*I know I am kind of venting right now but this is so heartfelt.  I totally understand if you want to go to a funny blog....check this one out and I promise to have a "better attitude" next
post.....http://www.thebloggess.com/

Great Grandma Mary, the twelve cousins & Grandma Sophie - c.1960 (I am at the top of the rock, 3rd from L)

The cabin is on Forest Service land, which means it's reasonably priced but you don't really own it. The Forest Service dictates what you can and can not do there. Mostly what you cannot do! They lease the land out to you but change the rules at any time. If they decide they need that portion of the forest, you need to remove your cabin and bring the land back to a natural state (pronto!).

Grandma Sophie cooking

My grandparents built a cabin there in the Fifties with a 99 year lease, my Aunt now owns that cabin and the Forest Service decided to "drop" the lease to 20 years at a time. (which basically means they can change the rules of the game at any moment). Several years ago they decided to close the Tract during the winter months, so now you are limited to a few months of use and well, all of this was discouraging.  Mr. B decided years ago that although he has fallen in love with the area, dealing with the Forest Service was just too much!  I have to agree....only when I take my heart out of the equation. 

Cousin Billy and my brother David at Baldwin Beach with Mt. Tallac in the background

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray" -  Rumi

Hen Party

"Who...Me?"

"Just Jack"

The Lafayette Gallery's new show "What Makes Us Smile" will be opening on Thursday, July 29. I raised chickens for 4-5 years and their antics always made me smile. I thought it only appropriate to submit several of my chicken paintings for the new show.  Hope you will drop by and see what is making everyone smile!

Lafayette Gallery - www.lafayettegallery.net 

"It Wasn't Me...Really!"

"You Talkin' to Me?"

"I am persuaded that every time a man smiles - but much more so when he laughs - it adds something to this fragment of life."  - Laurence Sterne

Bee Happy

Bee being happy....

Yesterday a friend mentioned something she had recently read that had stuck with her....

"You are one thought away from being happy"

 Mmmmm... Does this mean I just haven't come up with my perfect * personal** happiness thought yet or that maybe it's not about the thought but something deeper? 

*Clue 1 

**Clue 2

 

Today I came across this poster in Pinterest and I figured it was a "sign" for me to do a little excavation on the subject.

                                                    

Is there a difference between being happy and being fulfilled and maybe, just maybe happiness is not something that you "work" on and obsess over but you relax and enjoy the bumpy journey because happiness is right in front of you, should you choose to look?

In Susan Krauss Whitbourne's article in Psychology Today she states "The question to ask is not "Am I happy?" but "Am I making a difference in the world?"

Garden Zinnea

A wonderful source of ideas on happiness that I recently stumbled upon is - The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin at www.happiness-project.com  I especially liked the quote by Brene Brown - "For me, working on being happier is all about making sure that I'm heading the right way on that journey. I believe (professionally and personally) that self-worth plays a critical role in happiness. It's hard for me to be happy when I'm perfecting, pretending, pleasing and proving myself. I'm too exhausted."

What makes you happy?

 

A Very Happy Dog Playing in the Surf at Carmel

 And remember -

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”  
- Oscar Wilde